What Keeps You Up at Night?

After chores, I’ll lay on the couch looking at the ceiling acutely aware that we’re caged by our circumstances. In the 70’s the saying was "think outside the box". Think differently. Get a new perspective. Go beyond your boundaries or comfort zone. I know we are what we think and that our thoughts precede action.

My intellectual challenge was to connect random facts, acts and events to form continuous lines that define larger patterns. Life is a puzzle. Never comes with a manual. We must figure it out. It’s never easy lifting that mental pencil to find connections. But I’ve practiced it enough times that it has become my super power. Do it enough times and pictures come together automatically. However, making these connections my whole life has also lead to bad thought habits that are impossible to break. And so I realized that many of my perceived difficulties and problems reside inside an imagined boundary that I’ve believed are impossible to overcome. Voila. The heart of the matter is that we confine ourselves to vague barriers that we believe we can’t overcome.

In Old Testament times, there was a King who plunged the nation into hard times. People lost hope when King Ahab was done killing all of God’s servants. He thought he got rid of all of them until God spoke. The prophet Elisha ordered the child of a prophet to go anoint another as King. See sometimes, when we think all is lost, God sends a child to do his work. It’s that easy for Him. Elisha told the boy, go and take the box of oil, and pour it on Jehu’s head, and say, Thus saith the LORD, I have anointed thee king over Israel. Then open the door, and flee, and tarry not.

The boy went and found Jehu, a captain in King Ahab’s army, and pulled him aside privately. He pulled out the box and broke it open to release the oil over him. The anointing positioned and empowered Jehu for his job. Telling you to "think outside the box" does not set you free. You must break the box of self-criticism, fear and defeat. Break the box to step into God’s plans for your life.  If you think all is lost, then look for the child – an event, circumstance or angel sent into your life who will break the box and deliver God’s anointing over you to position you for success.

The Gangster Life

So I was 14 when I recommitted my life to God. Still a child by definition, but old in some regards. Growing up, Grandma tried to cheat me out of myself, kind of like the military does with soldiers in boot camp - reprogrammed to follow orders. She wanted to kill my ability to think independently. I understood what she required. Played along until she’d get a rise out of me, and it was on. I couldn’t help fighting back. My spirit was all I had. I hung onto it for dear life. We were dirt poor but somehow survived. Grandma took meager savings family gave her and lent money for interest. Guess you can call it loan sharking.

Grandma and I went out on a job one night. This guy needed a loan. The building had no elevator so we walked up five flights. Already at age eight, I had keen instincts from everything we’d been through. I rehearsed a mental plan in case we ran into trouble. Run. The door opened and a Dominican fresco smiled in Fruit of the Loom underwear. Friendly enough. His girlfriend stood behind him in a thong wearing a sheer baby doll. She came over and smiled. I gotta admit, I hesitated. Never seen customers like this in all my life. Grandma flinched for a sec. He motioned us in, heading into the bedroom for some clothes.

The apartment didn’t smell like it was lived in, no food scents, detergents or fragrant candles filled the air. The place felt empty, without the usual collection of ornaments families gather from shopping sprees or travel souvenirs. When he returned to us, he told his story. Explained why he needed the cash. I relaxed knowing he wouldn’t harm us. It was stressful work but I developed a sixth sense, learned to read cracks on the wall. We made the deal and made money off the transaction that night.

But the kicker was, it took 20 years before I realized my relationship with God felt a lot like that empty apartment. I was empty inside because I fought my heavenly Father, just like I had fought my Grandmother when growing up. Somehow felt God was cheating me out of myself if I surrendered everything. Thought giving my heart would be good enough until God caught me one night, pondering my miserable state. I wasn’t happy. My life played before me like a movie trailer and I understood that’s not how God wanted things between us. He is a living, breathing, personal God. A full time God. He requires first place in our lives for the relationship to work. Not just an occasional Bible reading while it mostly collects dust on a mantel. Or church on Easter. Can’t meet Him on our terms. The day I surrendered, was the day I experienced life.  Jesus is the Truth, the Way and the Life.

 

A Walk Through Scum Valley

It was December 2007 when I got the call. Mom, my sisters and I explored all holistic possibilities to save my sister. She was 34 years old when throat cancer silenced her life, leaving her starved, and a skeletal semblance of who she was. I lost my dog Carter, a Great Dane a month before. I watched helplessly as he slowly hemorrhaged on my floor after making frantic calls to friends to help me take him to an animal hospital. An accidental cut on his foot revealed a clotting disorder. I wrapped his body in the quilt my Aunt and God Mother Ramona gave me. She died a few years earlier from a botched medical procedure. Her warmth and tender touch was all we had as kids, all that connected us to humanity. It’s times like this that raise the question of why bad things happen to good people. Growing up, I’d stomp my feet in a fit crying, “Not fair! It’s not fair.”

Pain comes often, like an unwelcomed visitor. Bringing a variety of excruciating flavors in circumstances that make us question life. Question God. I’ve read many books and articles on the subject that intellectually addresses the question of suffering but never really silenced that why.

Until I read something that bought it home this week. Zechariah 13:9. And I will bring them through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried. Here’s the answer to why we suffer - the mystery of glorification. A work God does in his kids to transform us into His image. A painful purifying process, where life breaks us down through hardships and removes impurities and weaknesses.  God compares us to silver and gold, it’s how precious we are to Him. But like those metals, we’re full of it. Sin is the waste mineral that can only be removed by fire. God, the Almighty Refiner. A Refiner who patiently hovers by the fire watching our sufferings. We’re never alone because He never leaves our side. Won’t risk his treasure alone in the flames. If you ask the Refiner how he knows when the dross is gone, he answers. When I can see my reflection.

We have a promise. He will bring us through the fire. And in the process, God says "Behold, I am making all things new."

 

Foxes and Sinkholes

So with advances in technology comes the Dark Sith. Lord Illegit Surveillance. Used for cyber thefts that bleed us dry, security is a necessary response. Verizon’s annual data breach investigation 2014 tells us there were 1,367 data breaches and 63,000 security incidents in 95 countries. Hackers make up 60% of cyber criminals and 25% are intellectual property spies. Hacked credentials was the primary source of cyber-crimes such as Target and the Heartbleed vulnerability, a security bug/defect that compromised user authentication in online communications when sharing passwords, emails, etc.

Infoworld says what’s different last year is that hacks were discovered by employees instead of the Feds or customers. Means we’re finally looking for fingerprints in our own computer event logs - our PCs/Macs monitor and record everything. ATMurglars used card skimmers to skim our wallets big time stealing card data and pin numbers everywhere. So watch that swipe. Although dirty deeds are discovered months later after the fact, they are found by the simple act of watching.

The Book of Songs by Solomon, king of Israel, composed between 971 and 931 BC warns us of foxes, a breed known to borough in holes, who are extremely cunning. He says they destroy our work. I don’t think Solomon knew he would be addressing modern day hackers, but this application works. He orders us to take these foxes, and cast them out. They may seem small, but the spread and damage is great. Foxes can also be anything that distresses your life- frenemies, bad habits, corrupt systems. By all means stop, look and listen for the sound of foxes. They’re all around us. The sooner you catch them, the better.

Failure - a Badge of Honor

Towering guy with rumbling laughter, blue-black skin, and a temper matching his proportions, my colleague is chockfull of advice. He's the Citrix expert reciting virtual processes upside down in his sleep. His best work is designing and configuration. The strength of his character lies in his convictions which match his ability to troubleshoot systems, implement disaster recovery where no single points of failure are tolerated. When Steve makes a call, no one questions it. He personifies his technology and few people move me to compassion like he does in his problem solving quest. It drives him to seek and destroy anything that smells foul anytime, anywhere. Poor performance, slacking management, lack of character, poor judgment calls , usually culminates in a workplace meeting.

"She left me downstairs by myself." Courtney said, pointing at me in the back of the room. I shuffled in my chair when our new manager stared me down from the front. Clearing my throat, I explained the situation. But I had been sentenced. "Courtney is now the team leader." I could feel the weight of my choice translating into an unpredictable calendar. Uncomfortable silence. And then Steve's thunderclap. "That's not how we do things here!" He bellowed hard, I nearly ran out of the room again. "We're a team. We work things out together. We don't level complaints against each other. This is your first week here!" he pointed at Courtney, eyeing our boss. Courtney steadied himself. My manager paled. When she found her voice, she said, "Courtney is the stable mentor." I had to ask. "What am I, unstable?" A roomful of laughter, Steve laughed too. Calling me his favorite nickname while shaking his head, "JZ, you are Vol- a- Tile!"

It happens to the best of us, Failure. Life is filled with problems but its how we handle it that determines who we are. God never promised a life free of difficulties but he gives us strength to rise above it - the ability to learn from our mistakes. Every fall leaves a scar. Every bruise is a lesson learned, a process that marks our course for success in life. Paul learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, in good times and bad times. Its your choice. Take alarming situations, accept inevitable failures and turn it into strength. Best disaster recovery, ever.

Sunscreen for the Soul

Sometimes family feels like you're wearing pants with an extra leg. It is a strange, and sometimes odd thing. It can be an ecclectic mix mash of sub-cultures, garage mixes, trends or not. In my world, I find it at work, a playground full of power players mastering and dismantling office politics. At home, it's a boys revolution of sorts- a pride of lions staking personal property in the altered landscape of divorce and failed ambitions. Personal wars leveraged at times against the dog desperately scurrying across the room between jumping jacks and through a tsunami of socks, Tshirts and towels when its laundry time - full of tight-fitting, outgrown arguments that are never settled, just buried away for another day to surge and form the American collective consciousness.

But here's something. At home, a long bitter feud ended with 3 words.

I forgive you.

Misdirected anger. Harsh words. Effects that linger a lifetime.

Choosing the well being of others over your own? Forgiveness is a fossilized concept, but here are the benefits. The emotion behind the action of forgiveness is love. Love covers - hinders the knowledge of a thing. It slows and prevents the damage of injuries we experience on a daily basis, whether intentional or not. So think of forgiveness like medicine for your soul. It is life insurance with health benefits. "And above all things have love among yourselves: for love covers the multitude of sins." Try it, you might like it.

Seventh Word

                                                                              7

                                              "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."

He gave back to His Father His Spirit. Buried in a rich man's tomb. To have seen Him was to have seen the Father. His deeds and our deeds bear witness. Everyone reveals god by what you and I are. Alcohol. Money, Knowledge, Lust or Power. Even those who say there is no God. Look closely again. There you will find tucked in your heart, you've chosen your Master. god is where your heart is - in Thoughts, Deeds, Energy and Devotion. A dead passion to save. That's what Son of man came to seek & save.

Grace & Truth. Mercy & Justice. Peace & Righteousness, On Earth, a denial of Truth, a rejection of Heaven. Our alternate universe and concept of God, when rolling a Stone, becomes evident.
A Stone - Celebrates religious leaders silencing Truth.
A Stone - Hides Crimes of a government rejecting Justice.
A Stone - In answer to Righteousness through Violence.
A Stone - Entombs the Christ, Son of God.
For those who loved Him, A Stone - Tragic disappointment.
The Stone is the World's answer to God's efforts.

But Behold, on Sunday light shines despite the darkness. The stone is rolled away.
God removes it to heal you,
God removes it to give you life,
God removes it to supply your needs,
God removes it to show you only He is God.

A Stone, cannot hold Him back. When it is rolled away, He is Not there! Man has been redeemed.

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

Jesus shall reign, His kingdom shall come. Rejoice, He is Alive!

Sixth Word

                                                            

6

Tetelestai

"It is Finished."

Deliverance came. His earthly life, suffering in payment for sin. To buy back the world—His reason on earth. A final act of obedience. Complete. Friends in the Garden of Eden, Woman and Serpent, Breaking the bond between us.

Done. His soul for an offering - Christ begets the fruit of his work - his seed, Christ in Christians, a new day, a new race. No strangers to the promise, now Pilgrims on earth.

Done. In Death, he conquered. Therefore God rewards him a portion with the Great. Not Emperors, not Kings nor Queens but the fruit of his work. Christ shares his reward with the Strong - those who dare walk his walk. In Him we are the Strong.

Done. Quarantined Transgression - Our inbred evil, Contained and Withheld. The consequence of sin, Impaled to the cross with nails. Immediately orders Satan - Stop your accusations! The Lord of Darkness has been served, Cease and Desist. Do. Not. Touch. Them.

Done. A friendship broken with One bite of the fruit. One man fells the race. One Man restores. An Injured God Appeased. Reconciliation - Absolved from all charges, we are forgiven. When God sees us, He sees Jesus.

Done. Though we struggle, we are tempted. When we fail, He makes intercession. Defending our honor, with the Sword of his Word, He carries a shield when the enemy comes. Positioned beside us in Heavenly court, Indignant with Satan, again we've been sentenced. Over and over, Jesus trades places. In Holy Tribunal, He enters his plea. The Debt has been paid. Our case is Dismissed.

Done. Spoiled principalities and powers. Done. Made a shew of them openly. Done.Triumphed over evil. Done.

Fifth Word

                                                                              "I thirst."

Sour wine or was it Posca? The latter a drink for the common, vinegar wine, water and eggs. A strong drink for Him who is ready for death. Wine to dull the pain or prolong it. Gall, the essence of Myrrh. Bitter to the taste, invoking the bitter cup of God's Wrath. Offered on a sopping sponge, extended on a hyssop branch to God's son. A Bitter start. Three wise men bearing gifts. Gold. Frankincense. Myrrh. Rare gifts to worship the Divine King. Myrrh, the spice for his death.

Bitter Aromatics - minty too, used in purification rites. Beautiful purple blue Hyssop blooms - Lavender for Royalty, Blue for Love. Strong woody stalks to help soothe the dryness of his throat. He has yet two more words to speak, this King of Kings. Two feet long, the same hyssop branch dipped in Passover blood, applied to lintels and doorposts during Ramses reign. Used to cleanse lepers, now applied to our hearts. Same stalk King David longs for to wash his sins white as snow for breaking commandments. So, mourns the man after God's heart from a far away Past to Calvary's Present.

The blood of the Passover lamb delivered firstborns from death. On the cross, the Lamb of God sheds His blood to save us.

Fourth Word

From 12 to 3, the sun refused to light. Cloaked in Darkness, Death encroached. No full moon that passover holiday. No lunar eclipse to bid celestial exceptions. Quoting scriptures, Hebrew was Christ's choice. Psalm 22:1, but Bearing our sins - the perfect sacrifice - chose to speak the language his people spoke. In Syro Chaldaic, He loudly exclaimed.

"Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?"

His cry, a complaint to a Father withdrawn. Every dark deed we've done on the cross, Christ bears it all, but Holiness shuns our unholy folly.The Father must turn, his character requires it. This terror, much worse than all He's endured, forsaken of God, unhelped and unheard. Yet, again and again, twice Jesus calls. My God, My God...

Witnesses say, He called upon Elijah. His speech slurred from blood loss and fever. Why have you left me?

To those who were there, the answer was death, but to Christ who hears all, he received his request. His Father responded.

"In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will make you a covenant for the people, to restore the land, to say to the captives, ‘Come out,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Be free!'"

Third Word

                                                                            3

                                  Woman - To be made by miracle. Miraculously created

                                                                             

                                        γυνή:gyne

Before 9am, he'd been crowned with long thorns. Branches for fires, plaited then pressed, letting blood that marred his sight. Mocking and striking his face, soldiers drove the stick - striking his head - impaling thorns into His scalp.Yet, still he blinks... to focus his sight.

A cry so faint, but familiar at once, Weeping, she kneels by the foot of his cross. Once, in her arms she held him so dear, the babe gently watched her sing lullabyes. He responds like he did, that day he was born, at the sound of her voice, so tender and soft. Christ seeks to stare at the small huddled form, through crimson red tears. Behold, she's alone. His brothers are gone. Perceives if they're gone, she is truly alone.

He is able to see not one, but two who remain. Dear John, his good friend is praying for strength. Jesus knows what must be done.

"Woman, here is your son," and to John, "Here is your mother."

Second Word

2

                                 עדן   

Paradise ~ happiness Peace joy Contentment Rest delight Pleasure

Paradeos, in Arabic and Persian means garden, a vineyard, a place for the blessed - in Hebrew - ganan. A place of protection where you are fenced in. Sheltered from the hardships of life. Delivered from eternal death. Persian dictionary: a place made by God, out of light. A fenced place,sweet with fragrant spices Carcom, saffron, Spikenard, and calamus. Filled with trees of frankincense; myrrh and aloes, All the chief spices. Light scents of cinnamon and hennah. Fragranced grassy plains swirling with scents from orchards of fair fruit and flowers. Groves of cypress trees, full of clusters of berries, fruits with cypress blooms. Our garden, orchards of pomegranates. Our destiny, Pleasant and delightful, a sweet smell, rare and excellent.

"I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."

Eden's Paradise, man in the presence of God. Paradise at death, restored to the Most High. In our radiant form, his gift to us, his glory for ours. A criminal crucified -who by faith, Christ forgives. Yeshua our Salvation. In him we find paradise.

First Word

1

Humiliation, ignorance, Torture, forgiveness, earnestness, Grace
Nailed to a stake. He pardons our sins.
Yeshua - the manifestation of God in human shape. Born to die.

With you and me in mind.
Sinews, bone fragments shatter on a cross.

Blood flows from open wounds, iron tears wide, Reconciling humanity.

From trembling lips, he gasps. A cry - positioned in our well deserved place.
"My Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."
Ancient manuscripts - first of seven from the cross

spoken early in the awful scene,

Nails driven, driven, driven into Hands that healed, embraced and rose the dead

And Feet that walked far seeking the lost. To set the captives free

Sublime consciousness. He who speaks

Hangs beside two thieves. A High Priest - Christ utters his first plea

Not in self defense. But for you. And for me.

My Human Shield

Ever wake up feeling vacant? Like nobody is home. Happened to me and I never felt anything like it. Woke up and I wasn't there. Had no feelings. No appetite. Didn't want to dress. That's scary. Riding the MTA in the buff. No shoes. Nothing. My alarm clock rattled time to work, but I just stared at it. Thought aliens were at work. Not body snatchers, cause all my extra poundage was there, but more like spirit and soul snatchers.

In detached silence, wondered how long would it'd last. Imagine spending your life hijacked. Lunch time. I wondered if the red peppers were local or grown out of state. They were juicier than normal. Made me think pepper juice. bleh. I felt more weird. Numb as an elephant riding my back. Told myself I am woman. I conquered the pogo stick 10 seconds before falling off once. Nothing worked.

Then I blamed yesterday. No warm water. Bills pouring out of my mailbox. My favorite childhood tree - chopped. Kids arguing outside my window at 2am about the origins of bathing.

"Bro, baths were invented by Paul Revere! He needed one the night the British were coming."

"Nah, my nigga. You dead wrong. Bathing caused the civil war. People living in the North were stealing soap from the South."

Smothering the pillow on my head was useless. They yelled nonsense that hurled me into a pseudo shock. Stuck in rock bottom. But I looked up. Some people don't look up until they're flat on their backs. They said of Jesus, a bruised reed shall he not break. Reeds - ancient yardsticks used to measure, God's tool to size us up. A man's measure is his worth. If I'd had one, I'd have used it to snap sense into those nitwits. But not God. No matter how broken we are. Or how often we fall short, Jesus. Will. Not. Cast you down. Ever.

Double Trouble with Double Speak

Here's something to think about. Stop to really listen to conversations going on around you. Most people talk double speak. They say one thing but mean another. Like for instance, "You don't need a skin care regimen." Really means they want to see your cheeks fall off your face and crows feet run marathons on your eyes before you take care of yourself.

"How's the rice?" Means there's only one right answer - good, if you want to eat.

"How do you feel about sitting at this desk?" Means open your mouth and you're fired.

"So what do you think of my friend's sexuality?" Means you will get punched in the face. Never answer this question.

"What did you say!" Means say it one more time and I'll kill you.

"Get out of my house." Means please sit down and shut up.

So context, individuals, languages and cultures all play a major part on what people are really saying. Now, if you're in the habit of calling on "God!" when you're having one of those days, and you're good with him, He's listening and says, "I will answer". This double speak means he's paying such close attention that he's going to respond as a witness and create the answer to your situation. Cause God can do things like that. Now that's something to tweet about.

　

　

The Problem with Being Fake

So by now I've figured out conflict is unavoidable in life. I think people desperately try to avoid it at all cost. Like I rode the train to work the other day without anyone pointing out I had something on my face. Earlier, I tried being glamorous. Put on false eyelashes but glue got in my eyes making them burn and turn red. When done, one lash pointed north east, the other south west - thumb and forefinger were stuck together. I pried my fingers apart, and flung the lashes across the room in frustration. I looked hideous. A weed smoking monster. Not my idea of beauty. Sorry.


On the train, people looked curious, then frightened before turning away. At work, the bathroom mirror revealed the culprit - a stowaway. One eyelash clung to my glasses, on top of my frames. An ugly black caterpillar refusing to be discarded. 

I looked deranged, as if I had head punted off, half of Bert's unibrow during a fight on Sesame Street. So everyone noticed. All I wanted was glamour. I shook my head. How many times did I delicately pick flint off a stranger's collar? Or discreetly offer a tissue? And even breath mints? But I ride the subway from one borough to the next and no one even points at unruly fur lining my glasses. There is a moral here. Don't be afraid of conflict when it means doing the right thing. If you see people with fake lashes stuck to odd places on their body, help them. Because Jesus would've done it cause God likes that. He loves people even when they are having a bad morning. You could say something like, "Excuse me, did you know there is hair sticking on your blank?" Replace blank with whatever body part sneaky falsies may latch onto. If the person yells at you and charges, then... run!

To Pay or Not to Pay

Robert Frost says working faithfully eight hours a day may get you to be boss and then you'll work twelve hours a day. But he doesn't mention work place drama. Like, you people need to play nice, and not steal each other's chairs. Last month on the job, I took a break and my chair vanished. Then I noticed it under someone's behind and screamed, "she done stole my chair!" But no one did anything. So I considered pulling it out from under her. I could see her hitting the floor hard. Piles of papers flying everywhere.



Yanking my chair out would have lead to the inevitable chase out the building and around Bryant Park. There I would have gone Ninja stealth on her - standing very still like my guinea pig so she can't see me. Having your chair pulled out from under you is like having a rug pulled from under your feet. That trauma causes a kind of PSTD where you refuse to sit in a chair for days until somebody has to say its ok.


Joyce Meyer says, we can be good at focusing on life's "big" decisions only to be defeated by the small ones. A small bad decision is like a midget that comes from behind and kicks you in the neck. You fall flat on your face and then nobody believes you when you say a midget did it. So regarding my chair, I decided to pray. Prayer changes things. Unforgiveness burns trees and causes indigestion. So I asked God for patience and let her keep it. A manager who heard my talk on stolen chairs - wheeled in a boss' chair - his gift to me. I learned it's the little choices we make that count. Make enough bad choices and an army of midgets will carry you to monkey hell where you will spend eternity getting choked and dropped kicked. And then imagine a world overrun by people paying forward all of our bad choices. Not good. Here's more: http://www.christianpost.com/news/the-lords-great-gift-the-power-to-choose-116440/

David and Goliath

Tossed bunny slippers across the room in a heap
Early morning, sweaty toes, 70 degree heat makes my feet itch
Tired of greeting cows, saying How now, black and white cow?
They stare mindlessly, Ignoring me
Grass prickles the soles of my feet
White blinding light - Memories


And that's all the poetry I can write. A local kid ran past me along the opposite side of the fence that day and threw something at my head. I don't get this Dominican habit. Wth gives? I heard a loud crack, a white flash and got a throbbing pain. Realized he hit me with a rock. Jumping the fence, I chased the little mother down a dirt road. Screaming, he ran hard. I gasped for breath. Had to stop. I'm out of shape. Promised God I wouldn't curse. I'm trying hard to curb my tongue. My temper, that's another story.


Fond memories of DR. God made them that way. Rock slingers. Back in NYC, out of work, I'm a wimp. Fat rock slinging, DR business is a quick road to jail hell because I will kill somebody if they slam me with another rock. My friend's friend went to the Capital for Christmas. New Years Eve, 2014. Jumped in a cab with family at the Malecon. A boulder smashed their windshield. Almost killed the driver. Talk about terrorism. A second missile cracked the passenger side, splitting the teens head, her niece. Emergency room floor straddled with burn, gun shot victims. A man with an eye gouged warned, leave this place! She ran to the airport. Security dressed like Ninja Turtles wrestled her into a waiting room to calm her screams. Staring at them, she screamed louder.


I ask God to help me stop planning revenge on that kid. I want to go back to DR, dressed like a ninja with nunchucks and valiantly fight his stone weaponry. But not to the death because I want to help save the world and tell people about Jesus. Also I'm scared of dying. Jesus' trip here was like mine to DR. Rough ride. Nah. It was way, way worse. One day they're fanning him with palm leaves, and the next they're cracking his back open. He didn't dream of fighting back or chasing them down dirt roads. That's why Jesus is my hero.